Patience

Some days when responsibilities and stress abound, you still manage to put them all behind you as soon as you see your kids. Their little lives revolve around you, and they're so thrilled to see you. Sometimes, it's so easy just to live the moment with them. Then there are other days when things are more trying.

We've all had days when everything is going well, and you just need to get one more chore done, but this fine balance is hard to negotiate. It doesn't end the way you want. You grasp for patience, but it's nowhere to be found, and you snap or yell...And then you feel AWFUL. You beat yourself up because you shouldn't have attempted to do just one more thing. Your choice upset the delicate balance. You were not patient when you should have been. Have you ever heard yourself say that?

We approach patience as though it's a test, and we always aim for a perfect score because we know that some days, even under enormous strain, we are patient. So then why can't we be patient all the time?

Maybe this is the wrong approach. It sets us up for failure because no one can be patient all the time.

This week I was reading a book set in Haiti in which the author describes the two main characters praying for...patience, understanding and strength. When I lived in Colombia, I remember people praying for strength and patience too. Isn't this an acknowledgment that patience ebbs and flows and that it isn't always there when you need it?

Isn't this a much healthier and more positive approach to patience, to pray for it instead of beating ourselves up for not having it?

This week the light went on. I suddenly realized that patience is a virtue. I've heard it a thousand times before, but today, I finally understood.

I let my husband read this post, and he had a lot to say about it. He thinks that patience is a skill like any other and that it can be learned. I agree it can, but our threshold for patience differs depending on the circumstances. He disagreed again. He claims that Buddhist monks spend years working on patience and that patience requires a change in perspective.

Well, if I had years to meditate I would probably have patience too! Anyway, I will give my husband's opinions some due consideration.