Mysterious Mile End Cat Caper

 
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On my walk home along St Viateur today, I noticed this unusual posting in the window of the local laundromat. Besides being used for the obvious purposes, the business is known for its wall-sized bulletin board, where you can buy, trade, rent or lease just about anything in the area. If you have lost a cat, this is one of the best places to post your lost kitty posters.

Today, however, there was this "Red Alert" in the front window, warning area cat owners of a new kind of back-alley prowler. It's not a cat burglar, but rather a pair of fiendish fellows who abduct felines. I kid you not! Between midnight and 5 am, two white males in their twenties have been seen in the alley next to the L-mat kidnapping unsuspecting neighborhood cats out for a midnight stroll.

The Red Alert warns area pet owners to be on the lookout for the young white catnappers in a mysterious white van. It also advises people to keep kitty indoors, not only in the wee hours of the morning, but at all times, regardless of the compelling complaints owners may have to endure.

A concerned cat lover has already opened a file with local police regarding this strange and troubling phenomenon, and urges anyone with any further information to contact police so that this cat caper can be solved once and for all.

(CRIME SCENE of reported cat abductions)
 
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4 comments:

epochs | April 5, 2009 at 3:49 PM

I understand they do it for the rewards or they are sadistic bastards who torture the cats.

JWL

AKAmamma | April 5, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Well, uh, I hadn't ventured down that road yet. I wondered what Montreal's finest thought of the file opening. Bet they're ready to jump all over this one...right after they find my bike. Who knows? Maybe this blogger will become an amateur sleuth this summer. I know my daughter would love to do some s-p-y-i-n-g.

Anonymous | April 6, 2009 at 9:32 PM

My first reaction to your post was to wonder whether someone who was fed up of cats using their garden as a toilet was catnapping the cats. Now I'm against cruelty against animals (and I sincerely hope that JWL's theory isn't true), but I have to admit that after gathering the second bag of cat feces in the last two weeks yesterday, I fantasized about putting broken glass on the top of our fence to stop the cats from entering our garden. In addition to smelling of feces, our garden and front porch also stink of cats marking their territory. I'm well and truly fed up of the smell and of worrying about my three-year old getting his hands in the stuff. Why are dog owners obliged to pick up after their pets but not cat owners?

AKAmamma | April 7, 2009 at 1:35 AM

I have to say that JWL's comment "I understand that they do it for the rewards" is a bit cryptic. Wonder what he knows about cat bounty hunters...Then on the other hand, we have the argument that cats can be a nuisance, so maybe it's a sadistic Mile End neighbour who has told JWL that s/he gives rewards to the white men in their white van for abuducting those pesky felines. Personally, I think it could well be something more sinister. Maybe, the young white men in the white van were also wearing white lab coats are using them for evil experiments and then selling the pelts to unscrupulous clothiers. Did you notice all the fur-trimmed parkas last year? Obviously, that's just a hypothesis. Anyway, maybe JWL can enlighten us. Something tells me he'll be back...

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